The Good Life (3)
Since 1938, we’ve tracked the lives
of 2 groups of men. The first group
started in the study when they were
sophomores at Harvard College.
They were from, what Tom Brokaw
has called, the greatest generation.
They all finished college during
World War II. And then most went
off to serve in the war.
And the second group that we
followed was a group of boys from
the Boston’s poorest neighborhoods.
Boys, who were chosen for this
study specifically because they
were from some of the most
troubled and disadvantaged
families in Boston of the 1930s.
Most lived in tenements, many
without hot and cold running water.
When they entered the study,
all of theseteenagers were
interviewed, they were given
medical exams. We went to their
homes and we interviewed their
parents.
And then these teenagers
grew up into adults who entered
all walks of life.
They became factory workers and
lawyers and bricklayers and doctors,
and one president of the United
States.
Some developed alcoholism. A few
developed schizophrenia.
Some climbed the social ladder
from the bottom all the way to the
very top. And some made that
journey in the opposite direction.
The founders of this study would
never, in their wildest dreams,
have imagined that I would be
standing here today, 75 years later,
telling you that the study still
continues.
Every 2 years, our patient and
dedicated research staff
calls up our men and asked them
whether we could send them yet one
more set of questions about their
lives.
Many of the intercity Boston
men ask us, “Why do you keep
wanting to study me? My life just
isn’t that interesting”.
The Harvard men never asked that
question. (Laughter) To get the
clearest picture of these lives,
we don’t just send them
questionnaires. We interviewed
them in their living rooms.
We get their medical records from
their doctors.
We draw their blood. We scanned
their brains.
We talk to their children. We
videotaped them talking with
their wives about their deepest
concerns.
And when about a decade ago we
finally asked the wives if they
would join us as members of this
study, many of the women said,
“you know，it’s about time”.
(Laughter)
So what have we learned? What are
the lessons that come from that
tens of thousands of pages of
information that we’ve generated
on these lives.
Well the lessons
aren’t about wealth or fame or
working harder and harder.
The clearest message that we get
from this 75-year study is this:
good relationships keep us happier
and healthier.Period!
We’ve learned 3 big lessons about
relationships. The first is that
social connections arereally good
for us and that loneliness kills.
It turns out that people who are
more socially connected to family,
to friends, to community are
happier.
They are physically healthier and
they live longer than people who
are less well connected. And the
experience of loneliness turns out
to be toxic.
People, who are more isolated than
they want to be from others, find
that they’re less happy, their
health declines earlier in mid-life,
their brain functioning declines
sooner,
and they live shorter lives than
people who are not lonely.
And the sad fact is, that at any
given time, more than 1 in 5
Americans will report, that they
are lonely.
And we know that you can be lonely
in a crowd, and you can be lonely
in a marriage.
BY --- Dr. Robert Waldinger
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